If I say exploring my own sexuality was the reason I started camming, it would be a lie. My sexual life didn't start in the best way; sexual harassment, rape, and violence happened. I continued my life and I left those things behind me. My past is part of my formation, it makes me the person I am now. I am not embarrassed for the stuff that happened in my life. All of it is part of a process, you can't forget but you have to continue. Now I am like a child combined with a strong woman.
I work only in myfreecams. From the websites I saw, I can say I like this one more, because there are real women and gentlemen, not only interested in sexual interactions. I feel it is more real and human. You can get a friendship with a model or member.
Camming gives me the opportunity to meet people from around the world. I found people who have similar tastes, share movies, music, ideas and experiences. I make people feel better with themselves and they make me feel better with myself. It is difficult to meet them all in person, I only have one life, the world is huge. But finding people who listen to you, that show interest in your life, understand your fears and give you advice, people that try to make me happy, they offer good company and friendship. I would not change it for anything.
This is my only job now. I am a independent person and I decide my time for work. Working is not only my time online because I have another social media stuff. I work out, take care of myself and I have to look good, it is part of it. I have to learn about the world. Where is a country, a state or a city located? What is their culture? Not everything is about sexuality, at least in MFC. You need to be smart, study and learn from people.
Always we feel complex with our body, I have it too. I noticed that since becoming a cam model, I started to feel better in my body. Working out not just for vanity, I do it because I live of this. I know myself more as a person. I learn to take care of myself and love me. Now I explore new ways of getting pleasure. My self esteem and my confidence are better and I lost the fear to talk with new people ( I am shy, believe it or not). To my friends, I always say to them that they do not have to feel bad with their bodies. Everybody search different characteristics in a person and not all of us like the same people.
Not everything is wonderful. The decision to work as a cam model resulted in a filter with the people in my life. I stopped talking to some family and friends, no social media, no Facebook. I have to hide my family and friends from members. Only a few of my friends still don't know what my job is. I can't talk openly about my job in public places. Some members are stalkers, one of them found my Facebook when I still had an account, I never told him my real name. He entered in my chat room and wrote my real name in a pm window, hoping to threaten me with it. It was annoying, I feel sorry for him.
I know some cam models, thanks to the website I work with. They are women like me, who like to help each other. We do not see them as a competitor, we see them as another person in the same position. We support and love each other. I actually live with another models a roommate. It is good to have someone in my home to talk about my day and make her feel better when she didn't have a good day. We have bad days too, but we try to show a smile to make you feel better if you had a bad day. Models: it is important to support each other, we are not competition, each one of us is completely different.
I have no regrets, I am aware I am getting older, there are a lot of younger, new and beautiful models, so many options for members. But I know who I am and camming helped me to make my goals in life possible.
This community has open the doors to give and receive love from other people, it is wonderful.
